Sometimes your friends are the people you hate the most

The interests of people cannot be identical and also change in every phase of life. Being able to face conflicts is therefore one of the most important social skills. This also applies to work.

Solve conflicts

Conflict researchers assume that at the root of most conflicts there are real conflicts of interest that are easily understandable for outsiders. What then often makes the reconciliation of interests difficult or impossible are the offenses that result from the conflict or when dealing with the conflict.

Conflict management therefore includes several elements, such as a realistic own point of view. What do I expect from my partner? Are the expectations realistic? What solution do I envision? What can I contribute and what not? Where do I feel hurt in my interests or in my personality?

Knowing the opposite perspective is also important. There is one thing about conflicts. Your own perspective always makes sense. And from this it is all too quickly deduced that you yourself are in the right – but the other side also sees it that way. According to the advice of conflict trainers, your own perspective should therefore be made transparent for the other in every conflict.

Regular communication helps with conflicts

Regular communication is particularly helpful here. Only those who exchange ideas – whether verbally or emotionally – can understand where the other is and make their own position clear. Conflict trainers therefore rely on clearly regulated communication. B. be obliged to listen to the other side without comment. In the event of professional conflicts, a “change of perspective”, for example through role-playing, is deliberately encouraged.

It is not uncommon for communication to fail due to emotional evaluations. Offenses, injuries to the sense of honor, fears or jealousy stand in the way of a rational balance of interests. Because those who are offended do not communicate effectively, but rather “distribute” – often against themselves and often enough in contradiction to their own interests. Breaking this emotional spiral is the hardest of all tasks, and it can often only be mastered with help (such as a conflict mediator, a family therapist, or a good friend) and self-awareness.

I think that you can only bring about a solution to the conflict with a realistic point of view of your own, effective communication and a restrained emotional evaluation. What experiences have you had with conflicts and compromises? I am also interested in whether you have been able to heal one of your injuries in the long term. And if you are still looking for a few slogans to think about, take a look at my overview ‘Ruthless Quotes‘.