An example: in the evening all your loved ones have different plans. You sit alone in front of the television and are sad because you say to yourself: I am alone and lonely because there is no one to take care of me.
When you only see the negative
First of all, it is important to realize that it is feelings that pull you down, not facts. In this case, it is helpful to build a distance from the feelings by formulating the negative thoughts differently. An “I am lonely” feels different than an “I feel that there is loneliness in me.” This little twist is also used in meditation to look at one’s thoughts without judgment and to be more loving with oneself.
Imagine this scene as an example: You are giving a lecture to a specialist audience and you hit exactly the right note. The presentation is perfectly prepared, people follow you spellbound and you are relaxed and confident. But you cannot answer a question in the question and answer session that follows. Do you play through exactly this situation over and over again in the following days instead of being happy that you gave a successful lecture?
Make a list of things that went positive. This way you can see that the negative thoughts are not legitimate. If you can’t let go of them after all, it also helps to imagine a red stop sign that you hold in front of your worries in your mind.
If you are about to draw negative conclusions
You have been hardworking for three weeks and do a 20-minute workout every morning before work. But then a stressful time in the office begins and you take a few days off. You think: this is so typical for me. I never manage such projects. Does this or a similar example sound familiar to you?
Imagine if a good friend told you about this situation. Would you be tough on him and say what a loser he is? Probably not. You would be kind to him and you would build him up. You yourself deserve this respect. Ambition drives you, but perfection paralyzes.
And which difficult situations did you master well? Let’s share experiences and collectively learn more about positive moments in life. I like to write down my findings in the collection ‘Ruthless Quotes‘, which I hope will give you a positive impetus too.
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